I recently had an opportunity to interview the elusive Mr Heart, who has been evading interviews for a long time. Thankfully, after a lot of prodding, Mr Heart agreed to an exclusive interview in which he allowed me a peek into his world of love and emotions. Here is the full transcript of the first ever interview with Mr Heart.
Me: Mr Heart, thank you very much for your time today to discuss matters with me. I really appreciate the opportunity.
Mr Heart: You’re welcome. In fact, I decided it was time to come out of my shell and let the world know what I really am and felt about.
Me: Yes, I am glad you want to discuss this with me. I’ve been informed that you wanted to talk about Her.
Mr Heart: Well, not specifically, but I wouldn’t mind. I guess it is that time of the age cycle when everyone realises just how valuable I am.
Me: So Mr Heart, you’re saying that you are in love, again?
Mr Heart: No no, I’m not in love yet. It’s way too early to call this love. I barely know Her.
Me: I see. So if you are not in love, what would you call this? You do feel something akin to love, don’t you? We’ve all heard rumours that you feel very happy seeing her. Why is that?
Mr Heart: (a little defensively) When you put it that way, it does sound a lot like love. But let me clarify. Love is a lot more difficult to comprehend. Even I wish it were that simple. Unfortunately, this isn’t one of your logical computer programs that runs algorithms and comes out with a binary response providing you with solutions to everything.
This is a lot more complicated. It is an interspersion of a lot of emotions that I carry within myself. It makes it difficult to classify it as love. You know, now that you mention it, let me also clarify that my function is a lot more than pumping blood to ensure your survival. I do have other intangible functions that a lot of movies use to good effect. I carry all those complex emotions and feelings that Mr Brain, the intelligent one, cannot fathom.
Me: This is insightful indeed. We, on the outside, have never been exposed to such knowledge. (After a brief pause) So, would it be wise to say that because of all this content that you carry within yourself, it is now difficult for you to clearly pick out the emotion that you have for Her?
Mr Heart: No, I don’t think that is entirely accurate. I do know what I feel for Her. I believe the colloquial word for this is “crush“.
Me: Wow, so She is your latest crush?
Mr Heart: Yes.
Me: Tell us something about Her.
Mr Heart: Well, I don’t really know what to say because I’m out of words, despite my apparent usual verbosity in such matters.
Me: Still, please try.
Mr Heart: Hmm. If you insist, I can tell you that all I want to do is talk to Her, to know Her, to be Her friend… I don’t have anything else on my mind. I just want to know what She thinks, what kind of a person She is, what She likes and doesn’t like, and so on.
It is just an emotion drawn out of affectionate curiosity I guess. Remember the feeling that Siddharth Sinha (Akshaye Khanna) has for Tara Jaiswal (Dimple Kapadia) in the famous movie Dil Chahta Hai? That is the kind of relationship for which society has no words, a relationship in which there is a lot said without being said. That is the kind of adulation I have for Her.
Me: That is very sweet indeed. Have you spoken to Her?
Mr Heart: No.
Me: Why not?
Mr Heart: I don’t know what to say. I’m scared she won’t respond favourably if I talk to Her. I can’t just walk up to Her and blurt out something stupid. I guess I’m not used to it. Moreover, whenever I see Her, I go blank. While I’m still pumping blood, there is a moment of silence that I observe. Now you know why you skip a beat.
Me: Haha, yes I do. This is very interesting. Why don’t you just go talk to her nonetheless?
Mr Heart: It is always nice to have your presence acknowledged first when your eyes meet. What kind of confidence would you have if you are just another object in one’s range of vision? Somehow I get this feeling with Her. She is an enigma to me. I can’t figure out what goes on in Her head the moment our eyes meet, before Hers wander away to other things as if I don’t exist at all. It is difficult to pick up anything from her body language as well, making matters even more complicated for the introverted self that I am.
Me: You adore Her very much. I think you should talk to Her.
Mr Heart: I know I should, but I can never muster up the courage to do so. I guess I am one of the typical Indian males who struggle all their youth to approach women of their choice, till, one fine day, their parents end up finding a “perfect match” for them through the hokum algorithms of the numerous matrimonial websites that flood the country. I don’t see an easy way out of this, unless I just go without fear once and say what I have to say to Her.
Me: Yes, Mr Heart, I certainly hope you do that. I would love to know Her reaction.
Mr Heart: I am sure I would like that too. But till that becomes a reality, let’s be immersed in our routines – you in your writing, me in my “bloody” pumping.
Me: Yes, let’s do that. Thank you very much Mr Heart for this opportunity to have this exclusive interview with you. It was indeed very insightful.
Mr Heart: You’re welcome. The next time you feel the urge to talk to me, you know where to reach me. Feel free to drop in anytime.
Me: I will, certainly. Now, before I leave, the most important question that everybody on the outside wishes to know – Who is She? What is Her name?
Mr Heart: Hey, what’s the fun in spilling all the beans? If life doesn’t tell you what is going to happen next, why should I?
Me: But Mr Heart, now that you’ve told us so much about Her, we deserve to know Her name.
Mr Heart: Yes, you do. But not now. There is a time for everything and the time for this is not right now. In the meanwhile, I will also sort myself out and get a fairer understanding of the complexity of the matter. After that, I’ll think about revealing Her details.
Till then, adios. Keep in touch and do drop me a line below to let me know what you think.